Family Portrait
by Amber French Chambers
Summary: My take on the events following the Holby Riots. What happens to Nick and Yvonne? Do they manage to stay together or are they forced apart? Enjoy please read and reveiw always exciting when I get one thanks
1. Nick

**Nick **

'_I expected support from you of all people.'_

'_I do support you, Yvonne. '_

'_Well it doesn't sound like it'_

'_Oh Yvonne, come on I didn't say the police were to blame'_

'_Just leave it Nick'..._

_Beeeep. Beep. Beep._

The sound of Yvonne's heartbeat on the monitor pulls me away from the memory. Not that I want to remember it. Not now, not with the woman I love like this. I feel so helpless; I became a surgeon to help people; to do my best for them. Ironically though, my best just isn't good enough for the person who matters most to me, because she does, more than anyone. Ever, even Zoe...

I shake my head at the thought. We are much better off as friends, always have been, I know that now. We wouldn't have worked out anyway, brain tumour or no brain tumour as I have since realised what I once felt for Zoe is nothing compared to those I have now for Yvonne. Besides I think she has feelings for Dylan, I can only hope that she finds as much happiness in her life as I have with Yvonne; even over the short amount I've known her.

I know it sounds stupid but I feel like we have been together years, not months. Everything is just so easy and comfortable now. It is like I have found a part of myself, which until I met Yvonne I hadn't been aware was missing. She makes me complete and the thought of losing her is utterly devastating. I can't lose her I just can't. It would tear me apart. The thought of losing her makes me all cold and I close my eyes once more. Losing her now, after everything we have been through; from that less than perfect first date (and the delicious afters!) to all the magical moments, which have happened between us since. I love her so much.

If anyone asked me before I met Yvonne if I wanted a family, kids, a big house, the answer was always the same. It wasn't that I hadn't wanted all those things, because I did, I do. I just never envisioned myself being in that sort of relationship with anyone. That was until I met Yvonne Rippon. Now I realise I really do want all those things and I want them all with her. As I look at her with tubes of IV fluids running in and out of her, keeping her alive, keeping her with me, as I come to the realisation that losing her isn't an option. If she dies, I know my heart will die too.

During the argument Yvonne accused me of not supporting her. Well from this moment on I vow that will be all I shall do, because I love her, even at times when she might not want it, she will have no choice but to accept it, because as I have already said I love her and in the end that is all that matters, right? Having someone with whom I can spend the rest of my days with, to share my deepest secrets with. I want to marry her.

I just wish she would open her beautiful eyes, so I could tell her all these things, so she can see it, so that she will know. I take her hand and squeeze it gently and offer up a silent prayer, in the vain hope someone is listening. Please_ come back to me baby. Please. _

I am not expecting any kind of response, so when I feel her fingers move fleetingly under mine. I shake my head in shock. _She can't be, can she? _But then her eyes flicker open.

'Nick'...


	2. Yvonne

_**Yvonne **_

'_Oh go on, go and save lives'_

_As he turns away I suddenly remember I have something to give him._

'_Oh hey, I've got something for you'_

_When he turns around, a coy smile crosses his face, making his bright blue eyes light up and the wrinkles at the corners crease with joy and happiness. I slip the metal key fob into his warm palm and close his fingers around it before he has a chance to see it._

'_If you get there before me, let yourself in'_

'_Thank you'_

_Nick leans in and closes the space between us, giving me another deep and passionate kiss. I feel myself getting lost in it, in him. I know if I stay like this I will never go to work, so reluctantly I push him away, putting on my best stern expression I can manage._

'_Okay I'm going, I'm going.'..._

The memory fades. As I open my eyes, the harsh brightness of the florescent lights hit me and I blink several times in an effort to clear my vision. Where am I? What's happening? Disoriented and scared I move my fingers and am surprised to feel warmth beneath them. I try to move my head but find I can't.

I'm trapped. Why am I trapped? Then all the terrible memories seem to hit me in one big rush and the combined pain of them is so acute it makes me feel as if I have been punched in the stomach, hard. I vaguely remember recklessly following Faith Portman's son into that shop, heaven knows why though. I'm a police officer for God's sake! What was I thinking? Everything is just a blur after that, apart from one thing. Nick. But where was he now? Probably gone and I wouldn't blame him. Because eventually that's what I always end up doing. I push and push until eventually everybody leaves, then it's just me. Alone like always. I know I present this cold, hard exterior to the world and that is why I have never found the right guy for me. That is until Nick came into my life. Now I can't imagine my life without him in it. He has melted me and reconnected me with a part of myself I had lost. i have never felt like this about anyone before, well if truth be told I have never let any guy close enough to love them. But Nick is different. I love him.

I faintly hear the sound of rapid beeping coming from somewhere really close by, but I don't associate it with myself, not at first. The next thing I know someone is shoving a mask over my face telling me to breathe slowly and that everything was going to be okay. I struggle to make sense of my surroundings though my drugged up haze. I try to flex my fingers slightly and feel the rough starched sheets underneath me.

I try to turn my head, call his name but I can't hear my own voice. I am left staring at the ceiling, seemingly all alone again. Then I hear the sound that I have been craving to hear for what feels like forever. His voice, the voice of the man I love. I am suddenly encased in his shadow and feel a soft kiss being planted on my forehead.

'It's okay Yvonne I'm here; I'm here, just try and get some rest'

He came to sit next to me and took my hand in his firm grip. He wipes away a few stray tears from my cheeks.

'Hey it's okay, everything will be alright. I promise. I'm not going anywhere, I love you. We will get through this together.'

That is last thing I remember before falling into a peaceful sleep, holding the hand of the man I loved with all my heart.


	3. Chapter 3 Nick

**Nick**

_The first day I met her started out as any other normal day. We were treating a patient called Joseph Brooker who had come in after being accidently caught up in a cross fire between two rival gangs. I remember thinking what a travesty it was as he was only five years old. I didn't want police involvement but unfortunately because of the severity of the situation they had to intervene. It wasn't that I didn't like the police but the police and my emergency department had never really seen eye to eye on things before, especially on cases like this one involving the youth of modern day Holby. When she first walked in to the ED she had another male officer with her and being the Pratt that I am I automatically presumed that he was her superior. I walked over to them and introduced myself to the male officer; I will never make that mistake again. The gaze she gave me could have melted ice. I still remember the first thing she ever said to me: _

"_Actually I am Detective Inspector Yvonne Rippon."_

_She held out her hand to me to firmly shake it and I responded by automatically reaching out to shake it back and as I was doing so I felt a little electric pulse of electricity flow through me making my whole body tingle and something I suspected was nerves as I always get nervous in the presence of a pretty woman regardless whether I feel I had romantic connection to her or not. I can't remember the next thing I said but I think it was something like I didn't think she looked old enough to be a DCI. At that moment I knew I had made a total idiot out of myself and probably looked that way as well. But then she smiled at me and quickly excused herself to start her investigations, telling me that if she needed me, she would just follow the line of swooning nurses. I remember thinking from that moment on I didn't think my world would be the same again but I just didn't know how much she was going to affect the rest of my life..._

I must have dropped off, (not that I sleep very much these days anyway) because when I come to, it is pitch black all around me. For a millisecond I wonder what has woken me. Then a blood chilling feeling engulfs me as I realise that the usual reassuring and comforting beeping has been drowned out by Yvonne's voice, moaning and crying in her sleep.

'No please. Don't. Hurt me please. Nick... Nick... Where are you? I need you. I love you. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me '

It's so horrible that without thinking I slide out of the hard plastic chair and couch down by her side.

I stoke her cheek tenderly, wanting more than anything to banish the images that plague her dreams. I watch as her crying softens to gentle sobs. I climb onto the bed next to her, wanting to comfort her further and cuddle her close to me, as well as I am able. Yvonne is still somewhere in that place between sleep and wakefulness, her eyes are closed and her muttering has quieted considerably but is still there, under the surface. I find myself unable to tear my eyes away from her; she looks so adorable I can't believe how lucky I am. She drifts back into a calm state of rest, her hand resting against my heart.

I drop off again because the next thing I know I am being woken by a nurse who looks slightly disgruntled at the fact I am half lying, half sitting on Yvonne's bed.

"You do know that these beds are not made for two people don't you?"

At the tone of her voice instantIy feel my cheeks redden with embarrassment. There is no doubt her presence intimidates me but I am a doctor for God's sake I should be used to pretentious nurses talking down to me. Not that the nurses ever do speak down to me, it is usually the other way around. As I get carefully off the bed I hear Yvonne softly mumble in her sleep. All the while the Ward Sister is staring at me with a look of disapproval on her face. Why this woman made me feel so uncomfortable I have no idea. I now knew what it felt like to be one of my own patients and briefly promise myself I will change my bedside manner once back at Holby. This woman's stare makes me feel like an errant child.

"She was just having a bad night. I thought if I got in next to her it would calm her down a bit and it worked, see?"

I indicate Yvonne's peacefully sleeping form and what I suspect are the beginnings of a smile twitch at the nurse's mouth. But when I look again the expression has gone back to one of passive indifference.

"If I find you in Miss Rippon's bed again Mr Jordan, I shall have to call security". She carries on to check Yvonne's obs and busies herself with the relevant tasks like checking Yvonne's chart, all the while I can feel the essence of that scrutinising stare as it follows me around even when I'm not doing anything. It reminds me of the eyes of the Mona Lisa that follow you around the room.

"Call me when she wakes up."

When she is gone I breathe a silent sigh of relief. I don't know why but that nurse reminds me of my mother and she has been dead for about thirty years. But no matter how much this woman freaks me out I am not going to be moved from Yvonne's side. She is my priority now, my family.


	4. Chapter 4 Yvonne

**Yvonne **

'_Black?'_

_I looked up at his weird direction of questioning, that was until I noticed the mugs in front of him, which he was filling with what I considered to be my lifeblood some days, what helped me get through all the dally stresses which being a leading officer on the Holby police force often presented. Coffee. _

_He continued to look at me with an amusing glint in his eye, which despite myself I found oddly attractive. I had no idea why though as he wasn't my usual type at all. Then again there was that saying that opposites attracted, not that I ever believed in stuff like that. I was a police officer, we dealt in cold, hard facts and statistics, and we didn't have time to think about silly superstitions that was until I met Nick Jordan after that I was convinced I could believe almost anything . Little did I know it then but my life would be forever changed from meeting this charming, annoying, confident and ambitious man._

_Usually I hated those types of men. Men who thought they were God's gift and used it to their advantage. So why didn't I feel the same about Nick? Even I didn't understand the reason why, I just didn't. _

_Okay it had now gotten more than awkward as it dawned on me that I still hadn't answered his query. His brow had become arched with ever so slight impatience. I quickly pulled myself from my thoughts and answered in the affirmative, however I'm sure my tone sounded more distracted than I had intended._

_When he passed my mug to me, I briefly felt a stirring of something I hadn't felt for a long time. That feeling was something that resembled pleasure. Before my wayward thoughts drifted again I took control of the situation_

'_Sugar?'_

'_Oh yes, sorry'_

_The sachet he handed me was nowhere near enough to satisfy my sweet tooth, nothing was. He gave me a look of disapproval when I asked for more. On discovering this still wasn't sufficient I leant forward to get just a smidge more and his expression flattened into one of compete medical judgment, and I didn't like it. Not one little bit. He might have been able to appear all high and mighty with his patents, but he was playing a whole different ball game if he was thinking he could do the same with me._

'_Oh don't go all doctory on me, and anyway it is brown sugar '_

_To break the tension that was building between us I looked around the small kitchen for anything that resembled a spoon and didn't find one. Then I spied a pen out of the corner of my eye and when he next turned his back to me I swiped it and quickly stirred my overly sweet drink. But I wasn't quite quick enough because he turned and caught me. I must of looked a little guilty as his eyebrows rose, intrigued, at my odd behaviour. However he didn't say anything, he just picked up the discarded pen and plonked it into the bin, the look of disapproval threatening to return._

'_Ah look I'm sorry it's just in the force that's what we call a Scotland Yard teaspoon'_

_He looked at as if I was one penny short of a pound, which I was and I still don't why but I had this overwhelming urge to impress him. Then a wry smile lit up his features, making his turn from still waters into sparkling sapphires, which made me all jittery, inside and out. The only time I remembered feeling like that was when I really liked someone. But that must have meant... No it wasn't possible, was it?_

'No Nick I'm not doing it'

'Oh come on love please, I'm begging you here'

'I'm sorry I can't'

Oh no tears fill my eyes and I automatically roll over as they begin to overspill and create a small pool on my pillow, making it damp to the touch. All of a sudden I feel Nick lean over me and his voice is warm as it hits my ear, both in sentiment and from physical closeness.

'I won't love you any less you know. In fact I fall deeper and deeper in love with you every day so not loving you is just not an option for me. '

The softness with which those words are spoken, make my sobs increase until I am crying loudly, but I don't care. The idea of losing my independence downright scares me like nothing else ever has. It means I will have to learn to take orders from other people, something I need to accept. That will be the hard thing, acceptance. I nod my head ever so slightly knowing but hating the fact that I will not be able to change my situation, just enough so Nick can see.

'Thank you for letting me fix you, I love you. I'm just going to step outside and tell them. I'll be right back and remember be nice, they are just trying to make it easier.'

He learns forward and places a soft kiss on my forehead, before going outside and talking to the physiotherapists who want to take me downstairs for my first session. I'm so scared; I haven't seen myself since that night. I haven't even taken a look at myself in a mirror. I'm too frightened at the thought of what I might find. At that moment the curtain is pulled back and in walk two bright eyed, young people, a man and a woman, who are each wearing white polo neck t-shirts and a pair of navy blue trousers. The woman speaks first, a wide false smile spreads across her face as she talks, her voice overly bright and sweet. It makes me realize the only thing I like sugar in is my coffee.

'Hi Yvonne, how are feeling? I'm Christine and this is Mark, we are your physio's, we will be working with you to regain your strength after the operation, now we w- '

'No you won't be because I have had both my legs amputated if you hadn't noticed, so excuse me if I'm not quite sure what the bloody point of anything is anymore! Now I need to talk to my partner so if you would please leave I would really appreciate it. Thank you.'

'Yvonne please, all of us are only trying to help. The wheelchair doesn't necessarily mean-'

At the sound of that word, a deep rooted ache begins in the pit of my stomach and snakes all the way around my heart, making me feel dog tired and my muscles hurt with an almost physical pain and the force of which I feel it, shocks me. I don't see much after that and everything I do see mists over in a fog of red, which oddly reflects my mood. Depressed and angry. Now I lose it, my dam breaks, my emotions are unleashed.

'I SAID GET OUT'

At the sound of my voice rising voice Nick comes bursting back in, a steaming hot cup of coffee in his hand, with up to four sachets of sugar in the other. He smiles at me when he sees the expression on my face, which only fuels to anger me even more. He comes and sits by my side and cups my face in his hand as he wipes my stray tears away with his thumb.

'I knew it would be difficult to get you to do anything as I know you are so headstrong. It's one of the many things I love about you, so I thought I'd bring a little incentive...'

He indicates the coffee cup, which is now warming his hands. I watch the steam as it curls up and vanishes into the air. I have to admire his efforts; he certainly knows how to push my buttons. Just the sight of it makes my mouth water in delicious anticipation. But I am not going to let him see how much it affects me. If he thinks he can bribe me like some stupid little kid he has another thing coming. I can't be bought that easily, although that being said... I turn my head away, shake it stubbornly, even though all I really want to do is roll over, snatch it from his grasp, and drink down the heavenly liquid, and try to remember what life was like before it all happened and my life changed beyond all recognition.

'What Yvonne Rippon refusing coffee? Now I really have seen everything! Oh alright if you're going to be like that I'm sure there are plenty of people who would appreciate it. Excuse me-'

I grab his arm and pull it roughly, almost upsetting the coffee all over the bed.

'What?' He is almost lying on top of me. He gazes down at me, giving me his best shot at mock innocence. It makes me smile, seeing him so happy. There was a time, not so long ago, where I questioned whether I would ever see his smile again.

'You know what. Give'. I hold out my hand expecting him to pass me the cup. When he still refuses, I try to lean forward and take try to the coffee from him and I find I am not strong enough. I look at him, it's clear he wants something else before he gives me what I so desire. I sigh resignedly and look at him.

'Come on Yvonne, just come with me and look at it. It might not be as bad as you-'

'How can it not be as bad I think? It's a wheelchair, Nick I'm scared'

'I know you are love, but I am with you. I love you and we will get through this together. I promise.'

'Alright, alright I will come. Can I have the coffee now?' My last words are eclipsed however by Nick's lips crushing against mine in a passionate kiss, so all consuming that I am scared that it will take my breath away.

'Thank you love it will all okay now, of that I am sure. This is just the start for us. A new beginning, before I forget I think you have more than earned your incentive. Here you go'

He hands me the coffee cup, after emptying all four sugars into it. I am just about to lift it to my lips when Nick interrupts again

'Aren't you forgetting something?' l look all around me, don't see anything and look back at him, still none the wiser to see the smile from earlier spreading across his. He takes a used biro from his jacket pocket, smile still in place.

'Your Scotland Yard Teaspoon, madam'


	5. Chapter 5 Nick

**Nick**

_She was going to kill me; I couldn't be late, not for our first date. Not that it was really a date but I was hoping it was. Let's face it, I wasn't a spring chicken anymore and unable to entice the ladies as I did when I was younger. Anyway it had to be different with her. She wasn't my usual type, classier, more sophisticated. At that time though she was playing hard to get and I wasn't really sure if she was attracted to me. But for the time being as it was I was more than contented to play along and anyway I had always liked to play a bit of cat and mouse. But something about that situation was different, she made me nervous and a feeling I liked as not a lot of women could do that to me. I arrived at the restaurant about twenty minutes late and walked over to the table where she was sitting. Gone was the usual high pony tail and grey suit it was instead replaced with hair that hung loose around her face and flowed in soft waves down her back. Her outfit was in casual autumn colours with a pair of casual jeans and brown leather boots to finish off the look. There was even a hint of makeup covering her face and this made her youthfulness all the more evident. I felt my heart flutter as I looked at her and couldn't remember feeling like this about anybody before in my life. It wasn't until that moment that I realised all the other times I had thought I had been in love, were just an illusion. I knew this time it was for real but don't ask me why as no amount of words could have explained the way I felt. I just hoped she wasn't too annoyed with me but the frown creasing her eyebrows even from a distance away seemed to tell me she wasn't impressed. I didn't like that feeling at all but again words seemed to fail me as to why. What was this woman doing to me?_

_I apprehensively rushed over to the table apologising for my lateness, briefly muttering that the E.D had been overrun by an RTC. When she stood up and looked at me I thought my heart was going to stop beating (I wouldn't have minded though as she would have had to give me the kiss of life, but as a police officer I didn't think that would be in her job description). _

_I asked a passing waiter for another glass of whatever she was drinking without looking at what was inside the glass. I watched as her frown lines deepened even further. This wasn't the first impression I had wanted to give. It was not going well. _

'_You do realise that is a Bloody Mary. I'm on call.'_

_In an attempt to rectify my mistake I managed to get the attention of another waiter and ask for a soft drink instead. She looks at me guiltily as if she suspects how much I wanted to impress her. _

'_Oh sorry, I didn't mean to stop you from drinking; it looks like you could do with one.'_

'_No no it's okay I would rather be in sync with you, please.'_

_I indicated the chair that she had stood up from and she sat back down content in the knowledge that I had not stood her up, like she had assumed. We soon began to feel comfortable with each other and I was having a really nice time as I listened to her speak about her job, her passion and the fact that she cared really came through. She wasn't hard and emotionless like I had first thought. To her, her job was her vocation. She just had to wear an emotionless mask to be able to get through what her job entailed. In this environment, she was comfortable and relaxed. To me it was a pleasure to behold. I loved hearing her laugh and every time she smiled I am sure I had a mirrored expression on my face. I even found it slightly amusing that we ordered the same food, even down to 'No onions'. It was like I had been mismatched all this time, like a piece of me had been missing and I had only just found my perfect match. Halfway through our 'date' her phone rang and my heart instantly dropped like a stone. I thought it was going to cut our date short. Apparently there was a life threatening incident in the cells and they needed her to go and sort it out. I got out of my seat preparing to leave but what she said next surprised and delighted me in equal measure._

'_You don't want to come with me do you? It would be a bit of an eccentric end to a first date but why not? It's just that I don't know how long they will need me for, could be half an hour, could be all night. I'm really sorry about this.'_

_I smiled in agreement and to show her what a gentleman I really was I paid the bill before we headed off to the police station and whatever lay beyond it..._

Together the physios and I wheel Yvonne down a long hospital corridor. All that can be heard is the squeaking of our shoes against the plastic lino. We approach the red door at the end behind which stands the object which will change both of our lives forever. Christine steps in front of me as we stop outside the door and opens it.

'Wait, I need a moment please.'

Christine and Mark quickly, discreetly disappear behind the door, they tell us to take our time and to come in when we are ready. As soon as the door closes behind them I go and crouch in front of Yvonne only to see her eyes filling with tears. I take her hand wanting more than anything to make her smile and to reassure her that whatever the chair looks like behind the door it wasn't go to change anything between us. In fact in my opinion it will only make us stronger. I also know in Yvonne's opinion she will find it hard to ask for help after being so independent. She's too proud, that's her problem, but again it's one of the things I love about her. She doesn't need to say anything for me to know how she is feeling. Despite me continuously telling her that she's not a burden on me, that I will still love her no matter what happens I can tell that she is feeling the complete opposite. I give up trying to tell her, knowing she already knows, just sit and watch as she attempts to compose herself, squeezing her hand in constant reassurance, though whether it's for her or me I'm not entirely sure.

After a while her tears stop and she glances at me with a glint in her eye and an ever so slight smile plays on her lips. I smile back at her, realizing how much I miss that playful look.

'What is it?'

'Did you really mean all that stuff earlier, about this being a new start for us?'

'Love, you know I did. I wouldn't have said anything otherwise. Why?'

'And you're sure it won't change anything between us'

I sigh and cup her face in my hand, rubbing my thumb along her cheekbone. She stops my hand, takes it in own and begins to trail kisses onto my palm. Her next question is a mumble in between kisses. I take my hand back and resume my earlier action, which seems to be soothing her no doubt frenzying emotions. It was also calming my racing heart. I must be more nervous than I thought.

'What did you say love, didn't quite hear that.'

In response Yvonne leans forward. I see a fleeting look of pain in her eyes and she gives me a weak smile. She whispers in my ear, so low I can barely hear her. A smile curves at my mouth however when her warm breath hits my ear. I realise just how lucky I am that she is still here with me and still alive. Right at this moment I know I will be incapable of denying her anything she asks for. I love her more than life itself. I just want her to be happy, now and forever.

'Don't worry babe, just a twinge, it will pass. I said prove it. Sneak me out tonight. I know you will probably argue with me, but babe I'm sick of being in here. All these anti-biotics, the poking, prodding, everything, Please love. '

I take her hand and kiss each fingertip, so glad that she seems to be getting back to her old self. The woman I love with everything I've got and who loves me back just as much.

'I will see what I can do. I'm not making any promises though. I'm sure you will get into their good books faster though if you shallow that pride of yours and come and see this chair with me'

'You mean the big metal prison sentence on wheels'

'Come on love, we have talked about this, it won't be as bad as you expect and anyway it could be fun if you get what I mean.' I wink at her in a cheeky way, which causes a fit of giggles to erupt from her. In that moment she looks about ten years younger as all her stresses and fears are forgotten if only for a moment. It is lovely to see and it lifts a heavy weight off my heart to see her so happy. I glance at my watch and suffer a bit of shock when I realise how much time has come to pass, out in this chilly corridor. It has been almost half an hour, but feels like mere minutes.

'Come on they are probably wondering where we have got to. Ready?'

Yvonne looks at me, the sort of look which betrays your true feelings. However when she speaks, she surprises me and manages to keep her voice stable.

'As ready as I will ever be. Come on. Let's go'

Before we move I give her a kiss on the top of her head and again reassure her that the chair won't change anything. As I grasp her handlebars she puts her hand over mine and clasps my hand tightly. She is still nervous

'Well if I can persuade your consultant to let you out tonight, where would you like to go?'

'Well I don't know maybe the restaurant we went to on our first date, or just we could just sit outside in the car. They seem to have particular relevance for us don't you think? If you choose the first, remember no onions... But if your choice is the latter... we can do a lot in thirty minutes...'

With big smiles on both our faces I wheel Yvonne through the door, safe in the knowledge that as long as we have each other, we can get through anything as long as we were together. All we have to do now is hold on to each other and keep one another alive. Our hearts beat as one now...


	6. Chapter 6 Yvonne

**Yvonne **

_At the end of that first day I remembered walking back to my car with the intention of going home to rest. I was due to be promoted from my previous status as DCI to Superintendent. It was going to be a massive step up not just professionally but also personally, as it meant I could finally put all my demons from the past to rest. It meant I could prove to all my doubters, of which I knew I had countless that I could do this and that I hadn't made a mistake, when I had chosen my career over everything else. Most of the younger officers who ranked under me often took me at face value and because of this there was a high possibility that they thought me an unemotional bitch. Of course they were always polite and respectful when talking to me, they wouldn't dream of being anything but. However I knew what they said behind my back. They thought I didn't have a life outside work, which if I was being truly honest with myself I really didn't. I would get home, put a readymade meal for one in the microwave, pull out a bottle of wine and go and collapsed with exhaustion on my old leather sofa. _

_However on that first day he caught up with me as I left the E.D and seemed somewhat reluctant to let me leave. I was intrigued to find out the reason for this, so I turned around and automatically started to thank him, ever the professional. The bloke he had helped me bring in was someone who had been our watch list for a while now, but he had always managed to avoid the cells. There had never been anything concrete that we could arrest him for. However that had just all changed, he had kidnapped his own critically ill child from a busy, understaffed hospital ward, and put his life at serious risk. By anyone's standards that was a crime, but I had a moral duty, to not just the boy, and those immediately involved with him, but also to everyone else in the hospital, staff and patients alike. I knew part of the reason I had done my job so well was in part because of the man stood in front of me. Nick Jordan. _

_I thanked him for his help and before I was even fully aware of what I had said next, I had casually suggested maybe going for a drink one day, by way of thanks of course. I was only saying it to be polite and didn't think for one minute that he thought I was serious. Then I remembered we didn't know each other, not really. All I was really aware of at that moment was that there was a part of me that for some inexplicable reason, wanted to get to know him. I also needed to work out why he had got under my skin so much and what the sources of my feelings actually were. I won't deny the attention was also more than nice as in my line of work, opportunities to meet blokes didn't present themselves all that often. _

_The directness of his next question still surprised me though and again I liked the way it made me feel. I also found the awkwardness with which he asked quite cute. Seeing him get all nervous and flustered gave me a warm feeling inside. What was this man doing to me? How had he made me feel almost like a teenager, all day? _

'_Listen that drink sounds quite nice, how about Saturday? '_

_A small smile appeared at the corners of my mouth and regardless of how much I tried to suppress it; the more I could feel it spread. I started to back away, knowing my face was becoming way too expressive; it always did when I liked somebody. I didn't want to come across too keen. Like I said always the professional._

'_I said one day. Goodbye Nick Jordan, Clinical Lead' _

_As I turned away I couldn't help but take a cheeky glace back in his direction. When I did he was staring, almost as if transfixed back at me. He realised I had caught him and cleared his throat awkwardly, his cheeks even reddened slightly, making it clear that what I was feeling was obviously mutual. He then shouted after me, almost as if an afterthought._

'_Goodbye DCI, soon to be Superintendent Rippon'_

_It wasn't until I heard the ever so slight undertone of impression that marred his voice that I woke up to the realization that that was exactly what I had wanted to do. I had wanted to impress him..._

I hear Nick's voice talking in a whisper to my consultant. It's been ages, or feels like it anyway since we went to see what I have since nicknamed 'The Devils Automobile', otherwise known as my new wheelchair, when in reality it has only been a few hours. All of a sudden I am pulled away from my ever darkening thoughts, which I find are just becoming darker with every passing second, by the sound of my mobile going off. Just hearing it and a feeling of dread settles in my stomach. I don't even look at it. I already know who it is. It is my mother, who I haven't seen for the last ten years; not that I miss her, not at all. We didn't part on the best terms but then again that doesn't surprise me as nothing she does anymore shocks me. All of a sudden the voices on the side of the curtain cease and Nick comes back into my cubicle, his mouth set in a grim line, eyes downcast. Its bad news, I just know it.

'He said no. I'm so sorry love. You're just not strong enough yet. You need to at least look at yourself in a mirror before the hospital will let you go for walks and other things.' At Nick's words I try to hide my disappointment, but I can't. Seeing my expression Nick sits on the bed and looks at me. His expression tells me everything I need to know. He needs this escape just as much as me.

I take a deep breath, before turning back to Nick, offering him a weak smile as I do so. No time better time than the present, is there? I know I'm scared, but it can't be that bad, can it?

'Can you go and find Doctor Earl for me please love I need to speak to him'

At my expression and request darkness crosses over Nick's eyes as he contemplates it. I can read that dark look; he is filled with worry and doesn't know what to do. Nick is so used to being in control that he seems lost right in this moment. When he next looks I can see his eyes are filling with tears and when he speaks his voice is choked with held in emotions.

'Why? Are you in pain? Is there anything else I can do for you?'

'No... No, just go get the Doctor for me... Please'

'Okay babe I will be right back'

He bends down and gives me a swift kiss on the top of my head before hurrying off to find my doctor. As soon as he gone I lean to reach my suitcase to find my compact mirror. As I search my fingers brush across something that I don't expect. It takes me off guard and intrigued I pull the square object form the case and am in a little shock when I discover it is a ring box. I don't have enough time for the information to sink in however as just at that moment Nick rushes back in to my cubical, with my consultant right behind him. Nick comes to sit by my side and takes my hand that still clutches the case and looks at my worryingly.

'What were you looking for love?'

Embarrassed that he has caught me rummaging in the bag my cheeks redden and I feel my eyes begin to fill once more.

'I was just trying to find my compact mirror, I'm sure it's in here somewhere!'

I push the bag with considerable force, it crashes to the floor and the contents scatters everywhere and I finally let my emotions out, covering my face with my hands, as big fat tears start to leak uncontrollably. Next thing I know Nick is beside me, my head is cradles into his chest as he soothes me with words of comfort and love. All the while Doctor Earl watches the scene in front of him, with a neutral expression on his face. He must see this every day.

'I just tho-ught... well you know... if I could at least look at myself... then maybe-'

'You're just not ready and that's okay remember we're in this together. I love you, just have faith yeah? All those things that I love about you, your confidence, sense of humour, and ability you have that says just from a single look that you aren't prepared to take any crap from anyone will all come back in time. Just give it time. We have forever because I don't plan on going anywhere. It's just you and me noe'

Nick gives me a soft kiss and is about to tell Doctor Earl we don't need him, when my ringing phone interrupts him. Nick takes the phone, looks at it briefly, glances down at me, and then hands it to me. Automatically I switch the phone off when I see the name that flashes across the screen. Diana, my mother.

'You can't ignore her forever you know'

'I can try'

Doctor Earl interrupts our whispered conversation 'Yvonne you do know we need to contact your next of kin, don't you?'

'Why?'

'Because if anything was to happen to you they would need to be informed, we have a duty I'm sorry'

'But Nick's my family now, I told you all this when I came round. If anything happens to me I want every decision to go through Nick. Good or bad, sensible or stupid. He's the only one I would trust. Please Doctor Earl, he is everything to me, I couldn't imagine my life without him in it.'

Doctor Earl gives me a sympathetic smile, which I find almost patronizing, but at that moment Nick takes my hand softly in his and squeezes it in reassurance. Everything is going to be okay. I need to take life altering action to change my circumstances and I need to do it now, before the choice is taken out of my hands, before they call her. I turn to Nick, my voice shakes as I find myself asking the one question I never thought I would ask anyone.

'Nick Jordan, will you make me the happiest woman alive and marry me?'

No... I mean yes... I mean you can't ask me I was going to ask-'

'I know so is that a yes or no?'

I realise Nick is crying and so attempt to wipe away his tears to no avail. Nick bends over to pick something up which has slipped under the bed. It Is only then I see it is the ring box from earlier.

'Of course it's a yes Mrs Jordan, here we go'

With that Nick slips on the beautiful ring. It's a perfect fit. We dissolve into a kiss that seems everlasting, never-ending and beautiful. When we eventually break we are in shock to discover Doctor Earl has left us, we smile at each other in contentment, happy to be in each others, now and forever.

'Hello Mr Jordan' I say in hushed tones

'Hello soon to be Mrs Jordan' he replies, his voice full of emotion

We get lost in each other again, lost in a word of our own. All we need is one another now.

That is all that matters.


End file.
